So glad there's no racism anymore and cops have moved on to using common sense vs. visceral gut reactions to skin color and "intuition."

Right on! Like if I found myself in a cozy spot with Vin Diesel. Holy shit. Just talk to me like Riddick!

I just love you women responding like this. It's because you get it. That response was hard. core. That's attractive in a male or a female. No nonsense, let's go!

Yeah. My gf is shit at knife handling and when she cuts herself (which isn't rare) she wants a bandage. Perhaps I should share this article with her? Might put some spice back in the kitchen! er, bedroom...

It doesn't? Then you need to work on your reading comprehension. And you need to work on your insistence on being offended for other people. My expression of desire offends you? So fucking what? I don't care. I don't see any women here offended by it.

That's the most British sentence I've read in awhile.

You know what? Fuck you.

At this point my dick is fully retreated into my stomach and my nuts were following close behind.

There's also a lot of inbreeding with the Amish (in some communities worse than others). That might explain a lot about the anti-vaxxers. But I digress. I grew up with and went to school with the Amish until 8th grade. It does vary from Amish community to Amish community, but I'm more than 75% certain my Amish…

BIOSHOCK. Scared the crap out of me in the elevator, and I had no idea what the controls did.

Wouldn't it have been far easier for someone to fire the managing director?

Could not give fewer fucks about how offended a culture that arrests women who are raped for having sex out of wedlock is about Selena Gomez showing ankle and smiling.

Never, because I'm also a sparkly vampire that doesn't turn to ash in direct sunlight.

Well, that's worse than the pili multigemini I have to deal with on a regular basis, but I could see this happening if I ignored them and they didn't get infected.

It was slated to begin filming next week, but then Dustin Diamond got arrested which caused Tom Cruise's engram level to rise and he broke his contract. Lifetime studio is in talks with Matthew McConaughey to portray me but they're unsure if he can adopt the minimal drawl I spoke with as a teen.

I predicted this would happen before I was born, and that's why I've been living as a closet Bears fan in WI for nearly 20 years (gods that hurts more when it's written). I wrote the Superbowl Shuffle with Chuck Norris while I was still in the womb, along with Kris Kristofferson.

The polar vortices last year took all our fucks. They're on track to do it again. I think I'll settle in with some port and the best string cheese in the world.

Proud Wisconsinite here. I will admit that during the Winter Olympics I googled "What is tinder?" I also googled "Pabst" when I heard it was being purchased by another company.

Edit: nevermind, carry on

It was introduced in 1799 but was not adopted by France until 1801.