Stelvio? Pass.

I didn’t know that a) Justin Bieber’s crew played hockey and b) that they’re available to book for events. I wonder if they’ll do Scrabble...

The Karmann Ghia? Why not?

I can’t believe they’d let this happen—seriously egregious. Three-dimensional bar charts are never appropriate.

I always thought Dippin’ Dots was indeed the ice cream of the future because the price was already adjusted for anticipated inflation.

Matt, stop trying to make “Barnes Ignoble” happen! It’s not going to happen!

You’ve gotta stop living in the past. It’s Trump, not Lazio, who made the racist remarks while slamming his opponent.

[Elon Musk scrambles to hire Antonio’s son as his chauffeur]

Someone’s jealous. How long before he changes his name to Antonio Ocho Cuatro?

Not quite Kosher

The war games are likely to highlight what should have become evident to Trump long ago about the presidency: the only way to win is not to play.

If you ignore the shoe, this was a really great flop by Vasquez. What an actor!

All these Sixers’ broken ankles are an indication that Iverson’s reluctance to talk about practice is in fact him pleading the fifth.

Thank god. She’s about as good a dancer as Katy Perry’s shark, and I miss Katy Perry’s shark.

Clearly you’ve forgotten (Cam) Newton’s first law: a player on the bench tends to remain on the bench and a player in the game tends to remain in the game unless he’s sustained a horrific knee injury.

Tai Streets