Here are your three Donald Trump proposals:

‘Slave Bible’

Gruden decided to make his bed with Sanchez as his No. 1 guy, and an off-the-street guy as his No. 2, for reasons that will never be explicitly articulated.

People who are estranged from their families often have very good reasons. I haven’t spoken to my mom in about 30 years and she’s only been dead for 18.  Maybe everybody is being an asshole here, but somebody definitely is, and it isn’t Aaron who’s taking it public.

Waffle_cop...my arch-nemesis...

Because she just stuck it to the GOP.

The Detroit Lions have a play called the Roseanne Barr, a very unattractive play where Matt Stafford literally shits his pants and then throws an unadvised lateral to a RB that results in a fumble.

Dad?

You might say it’s doing the Electric Slide.

“More triggered Liberals” *squints* “wait a second...”

Sounds like a scrotal disaster to me. 

I’m not getting into a full scale fist-fight with my next door neighbor crackhead. Shots rang out ‘round there too frequently.

THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER

Calling it now: This will get called on Cam Newton exactly zero times (but he’ll get unsportmanlike for complaining at least thrice)

I never want get in a hairy situation with Justin. If his father isnt there he is dead. There was no good choice there but Im pretty sure Justin would have died where they were originally hiking. 

This brings back memories of us kids scrambling to pick up everything around the campsite, my Mom screaming, “Jesus Christ Jack, I TOLD you to use more stakes.” My Dad dropping endless F bombs as he desperately tries to save the tents from ruin. “I used every GOD DAMN stake we had Kelly.” Followed by a night spent in…

I enjoyed his show, greatly respect Mr Rogers and think that the world would be a better place if more people followed his example and died in 2003.

Man, that guy banging his wife had a pretty shitty day.

I don’t care if it is my favorite group/artist. I shouldn’t have to be subjected to other people’s music.