If I see one of those things in Minneapolis or St. Paul, it’s gonna have a stupidly tiny car stuck so far up its ass it’ll have highbeams shining out its pig nostrils. Apologies, of course, to actual pigs.

Just about where you’d be if Uncle Vlad weren’t paying trolls like you to write shit like that? Just spitballing here.

Jesus fucking Christ, where the fuck is the check for my 2018 vote? I honestly don’t remember getting one, you assbag Russian troll.

Well, first the thing would have to have a heart. If I had one, I’d donate it for the transplant.

Make better choices? They seem to be pretty good at choosing to avoid you, champ.

You know what you can do with your fucking “excitement.” I thought we were done treating this shit as our very own magical-special entertainment.

You actually had to go and type the phrase “while holding my nose.” Fuck you. Fuck you and your stupid fucking nose, too, you smug bitch.

Wow, what a spectacularly trollbot thing to say! You clutch those pearls any harder, Russnik, and they’ll crumble into dust.

You wouldn’t happen to be one of the goons calling for Klobuchar’s immediate withdrawal from the race over her supposed mishandling of a case in Minnesota, would ya? Because all the ladies have to be perfect while a sociopathic demented racist conman incompetent idiot traitor burns the fucking country to the ground,…

I wish you weren’t a fucking troll, but here we are.

And you spell it “centres.” Wherever-- or whatever-- you are, you really don’t have a horse in this fucking race, do you?

You forgot the “sadly,” troll.

Good the fuck for you, putz.

Oh, boody fucking hoo. You got an app on your iPhone to track all that helplessness?

Get the fuck out of the way, then, you fucking troll. At least uncurl from your fetal position to vote in November, though, you fucking ode to pity parties.

For the trillionth time: President who? Don’t EVER validate the creature.

Christian Bale? Are you kidding? His American accent sounds like someone with an entire theater box of Milk Duds stuck in their molars.

Gosh, that’s so very helpful that I’m going to tell you to go fuck yourself, troll.

The ‘ho is obviously a Russian troll. Don’t waste your time trying to reason with it.

Shouldn’t you be trolling over at the WaPo, you Russian piece of shit?