Back in the ‘80s, a little old arthouse theater on the University of Minnesota campus ran “Room With a View” for something like a year straight following its release. No lie. This was before DVD, and way before streaming, back when buying a movie on VHS could run you well over fifty bucks. It was like the student…

Goats have only a hard palate up top in the front, so it’s practically impossible to get bitten by a goat. (Getting a finger “pressed” between a goat’s molars: now, that’s another story entirely.) A horned billy might give you a swat; otherwise, you’re far more likely to get get a petting-zoo nip from a donkey. Yes, I…

Nope. The kids who made that shit had obviously never seen Cushing outside of “Star Wars.” The eye movement was completely wrong.

Come, come, now, get it right: it’s “daughterfucker,” not “motherfucker.”

Ooh, nice Dem end-slap there, Wendy. How’s the weather in Moscow?

Or The Mig, if it crosses over with Wellington Paranormal.

Short form for this ol’ gal: You leave out Blunt, and I can cross yet another grim, gritty sausage-fest (ooh! the scowling! ooh! the machine pistols!) off my limited entertainment list. Simple.

“I’m the PMS Avenger. I only work five days a month. You got a problem with that?”

Yeah, those pesky fucking rules. Who needs ‘em anyway?

So each of us, individually, is a “bad guy”? Fuck you. Fuck you right in the goddamn fucking eye.

Gosh, that’s helpful, you one-comment-wonder, you.

Nope. The original is definitive. This one is lovely, but I really don’t like that they pitched it up: Bachmann is straining for that solo-line high note, and it’s Hozier-level awkward.

Y’know, I don’t claim to be a professional trollhunter, but the teensiest of peeps at your comment history and your circle-jerk o’ followers pretty proves you’re a fucking ‘bot.

Bullshit. We’ll fix this shit and take the trash out. Take a break if you need one.

No, we’re not. Have today’s “Get a fucking grip.”

And that bullshit letter makes the rule of law go away? No, it doesn’t.

Nah (or Bah: take your pick): The goat “stink” is very much a billy thing (especially since their favorite cologne is their own urine). The nannies smell kinda earthy, but pleasant. Goat farts, on the other hand, can be pretty spectacular.

No, we’re not. This shit will get sorted out.

Nope. Texas can be wonderfully savage when it comes to sentencing. If he’d pulled this shit in Minnesota, say, he’d be looking at about twenty years to serve plus the gentlest of wrist slaps.

No need to repeal the 2d. Just clean up the phrasing— i.e., “... the right to bear arms in the service of a well-regulated militia shall not be infringed”— and then beat the NRA all the way back into the circle of Hell from which it crawled.