So is shitball Paul gonna slot Chris Kobitch in as the new U.S. Election Assistance Commission, or is Kobitch too busy spreading his “anti-fraud” slime around at the Department of Homeland Security?

Hey, NRA, take the AR-15 and all the other murder-toys like it, and all high-capacity magazines, and ram ‘em up your fucking ass. If you need help, I’ll bring the KY and a broom handle. And any non-NRA shitheads out there who think anyone should be able to own murder-toys like the AR-15: you’re deeply, inimically, and…

Speaking as someone who owns three guinea pigs: Goddamn that fucking bitch all the way to fucking hell and back. If I’d been there, I would have put HER down the fucking toilet. In big, ragged chunks.

“Man of the Woods.” Haven’t listened to it, won’t listen to it (can’t stand overly autotuned, hyperverventilating falsetto for more than ten seconds at a go), but I see the cover and the self-important, whoah-so-rugged title, and all I can imagine is Mr. Timberlake doing a “meaningful” duet with Donnie Tramp Jr.

And don’t re-engage right after waking up. Patrick Stewart, pre-Sir, summed it up in the pre-Interwebs era when he said in an interview that he never reads the newspaper first thing in the morning (or, for nightshifters like me, in the evening): he reads books or scripts and leaves the soul-eroding crap (my phrasing,…

Trying really hard to give even half a limp damn about Jason Lewis landing himself a concussion, since he’s my rep ‘n’ all, and— nope, fuck it. Can’t do it. He’s a piece of shit.

Perhaps one might have a “travel-sized” emotional-support animal for such situations. Not kidding. Honest to God, why not the peacock for “home” comfort and, say, a nice chicken for travel? Chickens even purr.

Or the very minor fact that we’ve got Russian-backed treason infesting at least one entire political party at this point, and that, as a result, the Russians have a very good run at “influencing” the 2018 midterms.

As opposed to “normal” stupid shit like sexually abusing women in person, like a dumb good ol’ man.

Not even “good”? Jesus fucking Christ, how very generous of you.

I think it’s because cats can come across as independent and stand-offish, so violence against them is more along the lines of “Ha ha, smartass had it coming!”, whereas we tend more to equate dogs with loyalty and friendship, so movie-dog violence gets red-carded as “OH, NOOOO, NOT THE DOG!!!”— and I think we’re right…

Nope, Pence is going too. He gets handcuffed to Tramp, and they get pushed off the cliff together.

Gosh, that’s helpful.

I’m a decade and a bit younger than that fucking thing (I’m refusing to think of it as alive any more, let alone human), so I’m thinking I’ll live long enough to see it die. But if I don’t, that’s cool too.

Yep! This is, after all, the same Red House that brought us “Normay.”

I think they excluded the “body-shit,” or b.s., ratio.

He “hasn’t lost a single vote”? So fucking what? Fuck him, fuck the fucks who fucking voted for him, fuck anyone who supports him. As if that fucking orange bloated fuck will be able to run in 2020, either because he’ll be dead or in prison or choking on a poisoned cheeseburger from a McDonald’s in Moscow. He’s…

Nope. Those polls don’t mean shit because there’s no “utterly fucking hate” option.

What “president”? Why not swap in “supposedly carbon-based life-form” instead?

Exactly. How is this lovely critter NOT the beginning, middle, and end of the illegal-exotic pet trade?