He spoke about how much he’s enjoyed talking to fans who have told him about how the team has strengthened familial bonds

“GIANCARLO STANTON COMES ALONG WITH HIS OLIVE-OIL VOICE AND GUINEA CHARM!”

(To friends, I was saying things like, “The Rockets are bullshit” and “This is like basketball as played by a shark” and “I hate this.”)

The Rockets actually almost landed Chris Bosh which...would not have been great. So they turned their attention to Chris Paul instead. (After KD chose Golden State, but whatever.)

Hey I’m a Rockets fan and I love the sound of that!

I really feel like if you’re an NBA team deciding between some kid from Duke or Europe in the draft, always go with the kid from Europe

You meant: What is a travel?
(Deadpin’s comment section eats itself)

Wait 25 minutes for your train to show up during rush hour because a signal problem at Broadway Junction is causing delays!

Everyone on Deadspin really should be saving their energy. The Rockets don’t play again until Saturday. Do people really want to waste their traveling takes on Rondo when they’ve got Harden in their midst?

Every NBA team now seems to have a ‘defensive coordinator’ or ‘offensive coordinator’ now depending on the expertise of the head coach. Since Thibs is known as a defensive guy, anyone know who exactly is directing the Wolves offense? Because it seems like it’s Thibs which...doesn’t seem ideal.

I’m a Rockets fan and I was really scared of New Orleans falling to the 8th seed and being Houston’s first round match up. I’m not convinced Minnesota wont eventually cause some problems because Houston will Houston in the playoffs, but the Pelicans seem especially dangerous

I’ve always liked Rondo not just because I respect his game but because he’s an asshole who loves to roller skate. It sounds like he could be a villain in an 80s movie that’s so bad it’s good. Karate Kid on Skatez

Kevin Durant. LaMarcus Aldridge. Tristan Thompson. The Texas Longhorns are fucking shit up during these playoffs!

I did some deep research (Wikipedia) out of curiosity and learned that Al Jefferson was born several days after LeBron James and so he’s technically young than LeBron even though there’s no way that’s true

Feels like 2010 these days

This might be a matter of taste, but IMHO Gabe Kapler and his washboard abs are the best thing to happen in the MLB this year

Seahawks brass: What’s the plan going forward?

I would love it if the Thunder played the Rockets tonight and Harden shot 20 free throws to go along with Russ’ rebound stat padding. The Deadspin comment section would have burned down to the ground in a rubble of takes

It’s too early in the baseball season to make any meaningful judgments about the strength of any teams

(He also cheated on her)