His name is Pom McTarland, isn’t it?

I agree with “no screens” and everything else on his Good Not To Have list except for no cruise control. Who doesn’t like cruise control?

Looking at the list and everything, I have to conclude that this guy is a troll. Look at how specific much of it is, he clearly knows enough about cars to find what he’s looking for, but he’d rather be 12 and waste people’s time because he’s clearly the coolest guy around.

Oh this dude is “gluten-sensitive” for sure.

Part of me feels like he is part of the Jalop peanut gallery and this is all some sort of sick joke to see when Tom actually snaps.

Shh shh shh. Miata.

Yes. I would love to sit face to face with him giving these attributes, then go “one word... Miata.” Totally straight face. Then when he tries to rebutt, put my finger to his lips and whisper “Mi-at-ta.”

Exactly. He wants a spartan cloth interior with analog controls and no driving assist tech... but wants sonar bumper sensors, heated seats, USB and power outlets, a giant sunroof, bluetooth, auto climate zones, remote start, and a built-in dash cam?

His car doesn’t exist. Go buy a base level numbered box on wheels and…

So close, yet so far.

Should NOT:

Hey can you help me with mine?

So they must have:

The winning car sounds like an oxymoron from what I can tell. Just default to, “Miata”? I mean, how do you get remote start and a manual ignition key? How do you get parking sensors but don’t want a rear view camera? Might be good to share with this client that there are tuner software out there and hidden service…

I couldn't make it through the whole list because "no plastic bumpers" doesn't really exist, but the guy sounds like the biggest candidate for a Volvo that I've ever seen. Nice to see those already made his shortlist.(but he's cross-shopping with a Mazda5? Odd. How about a Ford Transit Connect wagon?)

I read that as it must be a Mercedes.

With as retarded of a list of wants as he has, this is the only suitable option.

He wants a bunch of stuff that comes standard with a bunch of stuff he doesn’t want. Sounds like this guy would be happier just building his own car from the ground up.

You just got Jalop’d and screwed.