What the fuck is vegetable based meat?

Unfortunately, some kids already took his.

Yes, cracking down on prescription opioid abuse has driven abusers towards cheaper, safer alternatives like black tar heroin.

The trainer was on vacation!

The problem here seems to be that the kids stole the pills instead of receiving them from a sketchy team doctor?

How did they manage to stay awake long enough to play an entire football game, much less win one?

“in some ways, even though his picture is not there, Colin Kaepernick is there.”

Thankfully as a Syracuse fan I have nothing to worry about as Jimmy B runs a 100% clean program.

Well of course he had a successful coaching career- he was cheating the whole fucking time. That whole inability to keep his nose clean is WHY he was successful.

+1 worthless pay stub

Taxes, 401K, agent fees, union dues, money manager, deferred payments.

My only thought during the whole clip was:

Joke’s on him. Wentz uses direct deposit.

Considering 95% of his salary is signing and roster bonuses, his game check is $179.87 after taxes.

I don’t want to ruin your joke, but I’m pretty sure he always offered choices:

We’re done here. Someone gets the lights.

Ben Roethlisberger introduced the players’ three choices

The Cowboys made Sheriff Joe’s people boo. Must have done something right. I’m not a fan of Jerry Jones. But maybe kneeling before the anthem didn’t allow the yahoos to make it about the flag. And Jones actually took a knee. I’m very confused right now.

I’m more interested in the way she made it sound like 3 generations of her family fought in Vietnam.