Frankly that makes a lot more sense than the explanation given in the paper.

how could anyone possibly give a shit 

Agreed. It’s a family sport.   Nobody needs to see Cox sucking during this kind of an event.  

Goddamn watching those clips got me amped, and I’m not even sure what I’m watching. Also, who the fuck is this Burke fella and why is he raining on my man’s dominance? FUCK YOU AND YOUR BOILED LOLLIES BURKE; COX IS GONNA SCORE 10,000 OOGLIES AGAINST BRANDYSHIRE OR WHOEVER THE FUCK.

It’s almost like his outfit perfectly explains how he’s so comfortable doing that.

Eat at Arby’s.

You also just described the city of Buffalo.

I thought you meant you couldn’t conceive of an English sentence which included the Bills and Jaguars in a playoff game. 

I hear there are good people on both sides.

Or tuxedo t-shirts. 

I hope the Dodgers show up to BP today in tuxedos.

81 pitches for 81 strikes, including no foul balls, and each time you return to the dugout, one of the position players is there to give you a really tender massage while you talk about your feelings. A perfect game.

I find that Haile Selassious. 

I thought we were telling jokes here not discussing the modern descent into dystopia

Right? It’s like, you already have the White House, both houses of Congress, and a guaranteed 5-4 win in the Supreme Court. Now it’s 6-3? Come on.

None of them are even likable, which makes it worse! As you said, Kevin Durant is 10000000% the police, Boogie is an asshole who wants to fistfight every ref, Draymond is an asshole who wants to fistfight and dick kick every ref and player, Klay is a huge herb, and Steve Kerr visibly doesn’t give a shit about coaching…

shut it down. 7/2/18, COTY. Pack it up everyone, we’re done here.

The Golden State Voltron has been formed!

The good news is pretty soon it’ll only take one plane crash to restore parity to the NBA.