My test, when I worked in a sandwich shop, was, "do you need us to change gloves and use the separate gluten-free surfaces? It does take a bit longer, if you're in a hurry." I figure at least 85% of the people who gave an enthusiastic yes to the question actually had diagnosed gluten/wheat issues, and at least 85% of…

The woman was given a citation, and the man was handcuffed and taken to jail.

Hard Candy?

I feel like Smashbox would have been a better makeup brand to partner with for this particular project.

Semen lip gloss.

Its the angle. She has read The Necronomicon, knows the fate that befell Abdul al Hazred, and knows that movement in straight lines lets the Hounds of Tindalos see you. SHE NEEDED THE SOFT WARM IRREGULAR PROFILE OF WHOLE SLICES OF BREAD TO SURVIVE THE RAVAGES OF ELDRITCH HORRORS, AND THE SERVER DOOMED HER! …

There are many ways to make sweet music together; sometimes a little imagination works wonders.

Nope, just half-wit toast, which is every piece she's ever eaten, cut or not.

And they didn't take 10 years to tell us how they met her, too.

Come on now. Everyone knows that cut toast releases powerful and potentially deadly gluten fumes.

Well ... in fairness to those people, "watching your gluten intake," while still stupid, is not technically the same thing as them claiming they have an allergy.

hypotenuse allergy

The Australian Steakhouse had a "No Rules" burger - I think it was like a dollar more than the cheeseburger/fifty cents more than the bacon cheeseburger et , because you could get literally all of the toppings we had in the building on it. People would say, "can I get a no rules burger with just cheese, ketchup, and…

A real quick one -

Apparently, all of the servers in these stories have met my mother.

Stories like that one drive me insane. My husband has a severe nut allergy - anaphylaxis, hives, imminent death without medical intervention severe. Stuff like the ground hazelnut lady desensitizes people, and could potentially cause someone to not take a nut allergy as seriously as it should be taken.

I am a working cook, as well as an instructor at a culinary school in Canada. I regularly reference BCO in class, trying to prepare my students for the unbelievable fuck-wittery waiting for them out in the 'real' world. These poor kids have no idea what awaits them...

The "lady" in the last story sounds like a real half-wheat...

"Oh, well that's okay. I'm not allergic if they're ground up."