'You're so drunk, you can't hit nothin'. In fact, you're probably seeing double.

I can tell you from experience — from deicing aircraft — that both ethylene and propylene glycol taste about the same. Sweet with a slightly bitter aftertaste of poison. But only one will make your kidneys shut down. Most airports/airlines have switched to propylene.

Yeah, a lot of bags actually have a clear plastic slot on the back of the bag that holds a business card. Maybe 5% of people — at most — use that thing. As long as they can figure out who the bag belongs to, they'll get it to that person.

As someone who worked an airline for more than a decade I can tell you there is one very simple way for this to never happen to your bag. — put your name IN your bag. Take a small piece of cardboard, write your name, phone number, email address, etc. on it and duct tape it to the bottom of the suitcase. Placing one of…