Hire good directors

“Watching this trash, I now understand what hell is. I almost prayed for a cleansing fire to purge the earth so a new species might begin anew, so they might do better than us, and avoid our mistakes. A-!”

“This fall tune into Glory Hole: Yes Or No, where one man puts his dick in the wall and has to decide if he wants to marry the tongue on the other side. On the other side could be any number of beauties from all around the world with their own political opinions and views on love. But watch out for Steve! Only on FOX.”

Conservative World, with tinfoil hats.

Yeah, based on Nicholson’s first scene in the Shining I assumed he’d already killed at least nine people.

Midichlorians don’t fly up their butts. They travel up through the urine stream into their bodies like an Amazon River parasite.

I’m totally OK with the new Nickelback being fronted by a Mormon with complicated views on non-hetero sexualities. I will not be watching this documentary though. You have to suck for as long as The Eagles did for me to watch your docu-drama.

If you don’t find it funny when Hux comes across Kylo Ren seemingly unconscious on the floor and clearly, visibly considers just shooting him and being done with it, only to hesitate just slightly too long, then silently curse himself for not acting fast enough, I don’t know what to tell ya.

I mean, saying one guy is too good for it does not exclude the possibilities of others, but it seems different with Elba,who is arguably at the height of his career, other than the others. Going through that list, just for the fun of it:

Mental note:

African-American pop-cultural icon embraces cynically “Utopian” Family Values™ and the righteously Afrocentric philosophy of Quit Whinin’ And Pull Up Those Bootstraps.

That wasn’t a Men at Work song he was singing in Tucson. It’s “Break My Stride” by Matthew Wilder, a stone-cold classic.

Stupid rom-coms and their heternormative ways.

The department introductions reminded me of the beginnings of Rushmore & The Royal Tenenbaums

This tragedy never would have happened to the Bronfmans if they’d gotten those tax cuts in time.

“Dear Dad,

I can’t believe no one mentioned Hormel® Black Label® bacon or Duracell batteries.

Like when she told Han that he had the boorish manners of a Yalie...

This movie really makes me nostalgic for times when everyone agreed that Nazis are bad people. I loved that line from the Mob boss, but I never thought it would go from being a bit silly to something that feels almost poignant.

*Leon Trotsky doll sold separately.