Alright! A contest on whose life is the shittiest! I love these!

As a reality check, the world is safer and people have a higher quality of living now than at any point in history. Media has gotten stunningly better at making people go nuts over tragedies in the past decades, but the truth is that the world is a better place today than it was yesterday or the day before.

I'm still…

Anti-static strap? You don't need that shit. Build naked. Do it on the tile floor. And the thermal paste: just mash in on there like you're putting mustard on a hot dog. It'll be fine. Get on with that shit. And as if you paid for windows. That's for the suckers who bought a dell.

I'd gnosh those.

Pinterest? Productive? Oh man, I must really be doing it wrong.

At least you're honest about it!

So nightclubs are foundationally shit, is what you're saying. Is that what you're saying? I think that's what you're saying.

"It's fairly common knowledge that a Venn diagram charting the overlap between Vegas club promoters and terminal douchebags would be, essentially, a single circle."

Heh heh... I love Venn diagram jokes.

You will, however, feel huge regret when it's time to upgrade your graphics card. Cleaning that goop out of the contacts really sucks.

And I actually have seen regular case fans used to circulate the mineral oil. I don't know if it was actually necessary or effective, but it looked cool.

For a goddamn haircut, no less. Salons usually have a place for children to wait. What a shit-poor decision maker this mother is.

Okay, welp, she said wrong. To something I said. I guess. We're done here, folks. Time to go home.

Yeah. It is. I'd wager that you haven't had to deal with years of someone else's serious mental illness in your life. You don't have to deal with it; some things aren't for you to fix. That stuff is absolutely horrifying.

Glasses: Way cuter than ebola-eye.

Marriage ceremonies just get more and more ridiculous and complex and overwrought. Where will it end? What the is the point of all this dog shit? Who cares? Your friends hate you for forcing them to endure this self-indulgent ordeal. They are now making divorce voodoo dolls of you and your spouse because you dragged…

Would be a pretty sweet ride to get blasted and drive around on some deserted beach somewhere, though.

I can't wait until people stop caring what this awful woman says and does.

graphical interchange format. gif. peanut butter. jif.

I was just being sardonic.

I have a theory that future generations will look back on our times as this really quirky period in history. These are the strange few decades when, by some freak anomaly, the whole of mankind shat its collective marbles for a little while and were really convinced that tiny touchscreens in their pockets were super…

Right? The landlord could charge a premium.