He had a system for the garlic, where he sliced it so thin it would liquify in the pan. It was a very good system.

Since you also appear to misunderstand what Due Process is, let me clarify. Due Process is a thing that the Government must give you when it takes an action that affects any of your rights.

Die Hard is THE best Christmas movie. Ever.

Thanks for being the mom who gives their kids one less complex as they grow up. Elf on the Shelf is getting close to being on my list of ‘things I get irrationally angry about for rational reasons’ which currently includes Disneyland/world, and pinterest.

The cops still came to the house to check on Isabella and found her freaking out. “She was hysterical crying, she was panicking,”

I laughed so hard at this comment I almost choked on my chocolate covered raisins.

Yea it was really weird. I feel like it was a combo of Lamar being pretty good at gaining sympathy and Kris wanting to be the ‘cool and nice’ mother in law the one you can talk to and depend on, all while totally selling her daughter out. But you’re right it was a pretty drastic move to change her number, even if Kris…

I remember reading that he would do that. Kloe took a pretty dramatic step to cut off contact with him, and Kris totally screwed her.

Khole changed her number because as she says she wanted a new start which I think is code for ‘so Lamar couldn’t get in contact with me’ Lamar called Kris and asked her for the new number and Kris gave it to him.

What. The. Fuck.

And Franciscan University of Steubenville makes the list! Color me unsurprised. They spew a particularly crazy brand of Catholicism down there.

Every time you feel the need to mansplain, eat a donut.

Oh, thank god. I’m 53, and I’m reading this thinking “Jesus, have they utterly changed the language from English to whatever-the-fuck this is?”

Honestly bro if you’re wondering why you can’t “fix yourself,” and you admit that throwing something in the “inside trash” won’t stop you from pulling it out and eating it, it sounds like what you’re dealing with is a deeper psychological issue. Maybe you should be working that out instead of giving other people…

I rarely think this about Jez articles, but I wondered how something so badly written on such a dubious topic could have made it onto the site. I know there has been staff turnover lately, but sheesh!

I’m not on Twitter, so I guess that tells you all you need to know about me. I still feel like I’m being trolled. Youths! *shakes fist*

Maybe he works on the international space station - they kind of frown on opening the doors.

I'm pretty sure that he lives on the internet, where you can make up anything and claim it as fact. This is some of the least believable trolling I've seen in awhile.

I think I heard he's from Liarsville, USA.