“In the weeds” is really basic restaurant lingo. Really. Basic.

The bartender who “doesn’t use vermouth ever” is in fact, then, not a real bartender.

What is wrong with you? Every single woman who has worked in the restaurant industry (or any service industry) is inundated with this vile crap on the regular. Defending it as “harmless flirting” is not just ingenuous, it’s insulting. Get a clue.

Conferences. I go to an annual meeting of my scholarly association, and all of the morning panel presentations end at the same time, so approximately one fricking million people sprint to lunch at the same time. Personally, I cannot stand dining in huge groups, so I make plans ahead of time with three to five pals…

Hot dish is Minnesota "food." Note the quotation marks.

That's Cincinnati shit, Pinkham. Not Chicago.

I'd vote for that.

Pinkham would be lucky to eat the fabulous food we eat in Chicago every goddamn day. Chicago is unlike the rest of the Midwest. It's restaurant heaven here.

No, it's common.

Nope. It's nationwide, hon.

It's why I bat for the other (softball) team.

You're a complete lunatic.

It's haploid. Look it up, kids.