Didn’t you know there are now only 10 9 states because long slideshows suck.

Have you watched Kitchen Nightmares? A lot of those owners were awful people anyway, had bad business sense or the fact of owning a restaurant is a huge risk since forever. So of course they failed. 

What, no California Roll/California Stop?

I know it's fun to snark, but honestly, this new season of Pen15 looks great.

“Wevery time”? OK Lily von Shtupp.

“Say ‘Walt’ again! Say it one more motherfucking time!”

I’d scoff but you wouldn’t hear it behind my N95 mask.

I had that haircut at approximately that age, in approximately that year.

Poor Will.  For all the bad things that have happened to him, that haircut may be the worst.

So much this right here. I pride myself on being a great home cook, and people always ask me why I don’t become a chef or open a restaurant or food truck. It’s because that shit is stressful, and being a good home cook doesn’t necessarily translate in being a good chef or being able to run a restaurant. Just because…

I bet I can guarantee that was a studio note after seeing the first cut of the trailer. Brad Pitt’s character feels like he should be a surprise cameo for anyone watching the movie, but they must’ve felt “eh, this isn’t popping, we have to give them the goods or else they won’t come.”

So, norovirus and herpes.

It’s been done before.

I would in a heartbeat. I mean, as poor a film as it is, it at least features Willem Dafoe as a cartoonishly batshit villain.

Only $2k, that’s a full dick move. The guy totaled someones car and then bailed. F that, he should pay for a new car for pulling something like that for just come “likes” on instagram. 

6 year old Subaru means that the engine was eating and leaking oil like crazy and probably shat itself so he probably replaced it with refurb engine. My friend has a vintage Forester and basically keeps adding oil till this thing will finally die. Probably somewhere in the middle of Death Valley when he is out camping…

I also think yellow cake with chocolate frosting is the best cake.

Yellow cake with chocolate frosting is my gold standard cake for any occasion. (It is always my birthday cake of choice.)