Fake Detective

I want to watch a buddy cop show about her and Rachel Dolezal. Rach is the tough, take-no-shit, blackface cop. She doesn’t need a gun or badge; she’s got her bow and arrow and her race card. Belle is the freewheeling hippie cop with a tragic secret: she’s dying of fake-ass cancer. Together, they must team up to fight…

My dad liked anything that was weird and difficult-sounding. His favorite ice cream flavor was pistachio. His favorite music was klezmer music. He owned a theremin. We once spent four hours making tree-related puns because we got stuck behind a landscaper’s truck on our way home from lunch. He convinced his…

Under a city bus.

Had just graduated from college and was interviewing for jobs. Human resources lady calls me for a second interview, which goes well. She calls me for a third and arranges it at a local café (for a change of scenery). She looks amazing, but much different than she had the prior to appointments. It becomes obvious that…

Sortland had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.

There was a simmering anger about people like me — "Social Justice Warriors", as they call us — who are asking for change in the game industry: a better, broader representation of characters, among other things. We're "the cancer that's killing games", and Kotaku is seen as the key enemy site, with Polygon a close…

People reported hearing screams before the fire. One victim has been I.D.ed as "Wilhelm".

No I was dumb and making an idiotic joke post that's not really helping anything because I have no clue on how to respond to these people who literally say "Not saying No is maybe" so I flail about and take the ironic smartass route

Uh, no, I was actually being sarcastic in my post, it shouldn't be the woman's problem to deal with these absolute shitheads. Why isn't ignoring enough? It's the job of every woman to educate every clueless creep she comes across? How convienent for you, the white male who never has to deal with this shit. "Not…

You know how I know you're single? You say shit like this.

I'm currently in a trauma rotation, and working Xmas day. I hope I don't see ANYTHING on this list.

And in tomorrow's news:

The entire holiday period is going to suck for the whole family— no one is getting anything for Xmas besides blankets.

Artist's depiction.

This cat. He was the previous King of the Monsters, clearly, and the crown passed to me when he died, and that's how I know definitively that he was a cat. Duh.