This was my question. Can't you work out, eat fruit, and be snarky in your living room?

She is thirsty 

I don't get it. Why was she there? Did she go to a burger joint to work out?

*gets out spray bottle*

But you see, the AV Club comments section is kinda like Stranger Things - it may seem normal on the surface, but if you make the mistake of entering a portal into the Upside Down (by clicking “Show Pending”) you’ll see there’s a lot of scary shit hiding in plain sight!

#NotAllCommentSections

Have you ever met the A.V. Club comment section? We’re totally cool with this. Topple the patriarchy - it’s not like it’s doing a competent job running the place.

That seems to happen every time they pick someone to cape for. Maybe don’t jump headfirst into a star-crush next time. Wait a bit and see if they show their asses before declaring them The Best Ever.

Lauren just opened the door for BETTER to walk into your life. And BETTER won’t betray you. 

Naw. Just selfish ass men with their choice of chicks willing to be a side-piece. It ain’t that deep. 

Greedy people hate when they lose the thing which they took advantage of and took for granted.  I’m sure a few hours after this week his urges got him to “miss” sex, so he called up some ever-present booty-call so he wouldn’t have to “miss” that feeling anymore.

The fakers never regret before they get caught.

Pure schadenfreude deliciousness.

Whatevs. She’s finally calling him on his bullshit and now he’s “sad.” who cares?

Shit. Am I going to end up walking out of there with a doll just so I can have the full experience?
I can only imagine the looks I’d get on the flight home...

Yes, exactly— they were just stocking-sculpture dolls, which have been around for as long as old stockings have. To be mass-produced, they had to be plastic, which just made the puffy stuffed look become weird.

So there was a contest held by Coleco in 1983 when I was baaaaarely a year old and my mother, a deeply competitive and shallow person, decided that I was going to have a cabbage patch doll. She entered me in the contest, then started conniving for ways to get a doll by other means as well.

omg, ouch. lol. 

Kid asshole here. My grandma made me one and I don’t remember doing this, but my brother says I unwrapped it, was briefly ecstatic, looked for the stamp on the butt cheek, ran outside, threw it on her front lawn and started crying. 

This is how my mom got mine! Sort of. She taught school and one of the janitors approached her and said that his brother worked at a large toy store and if she was willing to pay in cash, she could get a cabbage patch doll. I distinctly remember my mom taking us after school that day, we drove behind the toy store and…