I was halfway through this piece when I felt the need to finally unburden my soul, and admit that, yes, those are "Wild Wild West" sunglasses from Burger King that I'm wearing in so many pics from the summer/fall of 1999.

Man, I was really looking forward to JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT and the continuing films in this rebooted series.

"Fallin'" is the tits. I still play that regularly. And as cool as I thought I was for liking rap-rock hybrids back in '93 (when I was also 15), this album never fired on all cylinders for me. Great on paper, a little lacking in execution.

In his defense, at least it's not "Best Defense."

Eleven losers rob three casinos in one night. If they tried to rob Trump Hotel, it woulda been a totally different movie, believe me!

That's one reason why I loved the Franco roast so much. They were all just friends, busting each other's balls, which makes it all the funnier. While I usually like the CC roasts, that camaraderie isn't always present.

HOW MANY ERNIE HUDSON MOVIES ARE YOU GOING TO REBOOT, HOLLYWOOD?!

Me, too. For me, reading up and keeping up with the Los Angeles Times Calendar section fed all my weirdo-box office needs.

Israel Somethingoranother's Hawaiian-tinged version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" will forever be linked to Dr. Mark Greene's final breaths on "ER." Jesus, I'm already down just thinking about it.

Someone involved with Breitbart being an absolute piece of shit? Wow. What are the odds?

James Caan, but Scott Caan't.

"Owned…?" As in he lost it? Here, he can have mine!

He was always partial to Roy Rogers.

I will defend B&R to my dying day. It doesn't give a fuck what you think, and doesn't even try to be a good movie, but damn if it's not immensely watchable, if only in a trainwreck-like fashion. It's funny how both Burton/Schumacher were both trying to fit in on their first Bat-outings, while firing on all cylinders…

That Godzilla remix of "Brain Stew" is one of the funniest/stupidest/laziest/greatest things in the history of mankind.

If you're from L.A. you may be familiar with this, but there used to be a karaoke bar in Burbank called Dimples (which billed itself as the first karaoke bar in America). I didn't go there often, but when I did, every time — every god damned time — I would always see Dennis Haskins there, and every time he sang, he…

Every time I've been in a karaoke bar, "Sweet Caroline" has never been sung with anything less than pure, drunken, somewhat obnoxious sincerity… and I'm kinda okay with that.

Also, are we now pretending that the Killers and Hot Hot Heat were/are good?

Those fucking lyrics, to this day, still piss me off. They make no fucking sense. Might as well write:

What the fuck happened to Bloc Party? After such a fun, promising debut album, they just got… kinda boring.