You guys, he apologized. Do you know how hard it's been for him these past few days? He can't even find solace in the arms of his girlfriend because, well, she's a model and she's always traveling for work and stuff.

We should all use Lyft since that's how Conan rides.

Don't worry, bro. It's all gonna work out in the end.

"Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumors" is a seriously slept-on album. It's surprising to me that it never got the attention or accolades it deserves.

One of the greatest unsolved mysteries will be the punchline to Bender's Naked-lady-walks-into-a-bar joke…

When I was in the 4th grade, I did my book report on BEVERLY HILLS COP II. Mrs. Cathcart eventually told me that I could no longer do "movie books." Still got a B though.

Why did the dad eat lunch outside? What a loser!

This the movie about the german shepherd with PTSD?

Giving my driver 3 stars. He kept wanting to talk ("How long have you lived in the Wasteland?" "Are you a universal donor?" "Isn't today a lovely day?"). Dude, just get me to the Citadel on time, please.

Saw this in theatres when I was 12. Loved it so much that, for my 7th grade poetry assignment, I, unknowingly, plagiarized Leonard Cohen - when I thought I was plagiarizing Concrete Blonde - with my hard-hitting poem about the first Iraq War called, "Everybody." I got an A.

Maybe he meant the Waterworld Stunt Show at Universal Studios.