“Sir, this is an empty room”

I honest to God have no idea who you’re arguing with right now.

is it still considered a flex if it’s couched between two self-deprecating statements?

It could be a coincidence, but I think it’s all kayfabe.

Cowboys have also expressed interest, but they would like to see a conviction first before committing 

Chris, you may want to change the picture to the article. It's clearly a picture of Markelle Fultz.

“For real, that’s not his moms tho?”

No, you helped me. The important thing is that the joke is received by the most people. You ensured that that happened. I thank you for your assistance.

Everybody knows certified fork lift drivers can get it up, are responsible with their load, and don’t pull out prematurely.

I expect the President to tweet soon about how the European Diving Championships are rigged against American divers.

Great comment! This is why I don’t pay for Deadspin!

It took me a minute to realize those were two photos side by side, and not one photo showing one Thunder player doubled over in ball pain while a rampaging Green kicks another one in the balls right next to him.

Yes

is this me growing on Nate Peterman?

Because Carmelo Anthony is a delusion diva and James Dolan is a fucking idiot.

I mean, the least Jeter could have done is left those guys a gift basket.

They can find his dad?

I come here every day to read funny and insightful comments, so I guess we’re both pretty disappointed.

Just pay for the beer next time, man.

I think it’s cute how people who don’t care about a sport decide that everyone wants to hear how edgy they are when they comment about that sport.