So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong. I thought it was about the pizzas!

One could argue that legitimate victims of hate crimes are harmed by this because it decreases the chances people will believe their accusations.

How the hell are you ungreyed???

GIVE IT A FUCKING REST ALREADY, SCUMBAG.

Chile, I am still so mad at this fool. Send him to the dark side of the moon, send him out to pasture, and strike him from the record of the zeitgeist, because I do not wanna hear any sort of redemption story once all this shakes out. I do not blame the Chicago PD for tossing this hot potato of a story around…

Why isn’t the rescue center called Vanderpups? Marketing fail.

Unlike most contractors who worked for Trump, Yang quickly learned to get paid beforehand.

What’s complicated? He’s a freak who used his ‘honey-trap’ compound to lure and rape little boys. Nothing at all complicated about that.

I don’t think that’s the right decision. The man’s legacy is complicated, to say the least, but this seems like a bit of a reach. Next you’ll tell me nobody will air Men in Black II anymore, of if they do it won’t feature his cameo. There’s a point where this all gets silly, and I think we’re there.

Me: The prison-industrial complex must be destroyed, there is no just incarceration

The great bit is, in many ways we’re past the point of having to believe Cohen. There are boxes of documentary evidence. When you remind those Trumpanzees of this fact, they always fall unwontedly silent (or else start talking about Hillary Clinton).

The best part of his apology? That blank page he's holding, like Trump's folders, is the gift that’ll keep giving forever.

When you take a shit, do you really need to know which turd was the burrito and which was the chicken casserole?

I can imagine a pretty unique vernacular resulting from that combination.

I'm confused. Which one is Jesse and which ones are Trump children?

Lady Macbeth was my first thought.

I can’t believe how sad this makes me feel. 

I simply can’t imagine Jeopardy! without Trebek.

Shut the fuck up, Tomato Face. Isn’t it time for you to clock out for the day?