Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger wears whatever she wants. Paparazzi just swoop in and pick up the scraps.

Well, since Katie Couric is leaving CBS, they're going to need a new eye.

Yeah, whatever. Go fetch me a beer. Pronto.

The dogs don't win until we have a budget.

This is a much better photo than Gawker is using in its story. She is really very attractive. Of course, I would never ever vote for her.

I punish Sony by never buying anything with "Sony" on it.

The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules or took a few liberties with our female party guests. We did.

So is your punctuation.

There's only so much time in the day and I have better things to do.

Both have equal cultural relevance to me, which is to say: none whatever.

That whole unplugged DVD is one of my very favorites.

Her earlier work in Spanish is my favorite, certainly.

No, indeed I don't. You've fulfilled my every expectation.

From a guy's perspective, girl-on-girl crime is what we call "entertainment."

This is her best work, ever.

That's nothing. George Washington had, like, 30 dicks.

Did they get the uniforms at American Apparel?

Why is there never any gossip about Aubrey Plaza? Also, I want to see her on Dancing with the Stars.

I thought this meme had expired.

The corridors are dark, gentlemen. But you mustn't be afraid. I am with you.