“durrr I made locker-room talk, which I didn’t do, so now we have to go get ISIS”

To her Father, she only has a Grabbable Rating of 4/10.

I imagine “alriiiiight. Good going, kid,” accompanied by a pat on the shoulder, is the response from every woman that’s slept with Donald Trump.

no, that’s just the sun reflecting off his disgustingly slick hair.

Show ‘er, Donald. Show her how you can do anything because you’re a “star.” Sure, you are technically as gaseous, bloated and orange as a star, but just... y’know... grab her by the p**** and show ‘er.

She also wore a massive p**sy on her arm. A little hairy and leathery, but it carries a lot of money.

He just has a devious cerebrum

Who wants cheeto fingers without even eating the cheetos?

When Millie Bobby Brown asks why we’re sending her back to england, just say “It’s for your safety, dear.”

She’s probably shopping online for her inauguration pantsuit already.

Bill lost the presidency because of it. Trump should as well.

9/10 gold diggers that left that bus reported a foul-smelling orange residue on their skin afterwards.

Billy Bush is related the president Bushes. He’s such a beta male that he’d happily laugh along with an ISIS leader while he killed children if it got him an E! scoop.

What makes an idiot is not a lack of knowledge, but an uncompromising willingness to maintain an incorrect stance or point of view. These Trump voters are idiots. Idiots in EVERY sense of the word. Their idiocy is preventing them from NOT voting for him. they #MakeAmericaIdioticAgain

Stop it! Your wife is married.

Trump probably grabbed pandora’s box then laughed about it with that uber-beta male, Billy Bush.

I find that a pinky stealthily snuck up anybody’s butthole is the way to woo somebody.

“Excuse me, I was in the war. I was in the war. Ask anybody. I was in the war. It was a great war. Great war!I believe I was the greatest fighter, believe me. Go ahead.”

Why stress over the lack of multiplayer games coming out when you can dust off the old N64?

“These guys say they live for this stuff”