we spent palermo nights together, navigating the cobble-stoned streets on an antique moped. the scent of her hair swirled and mixed sweetly with mediterranean sea breeze as she rested her chin on my left shoulder and wrapped her arms about my waist. the loud rattle of the motor and rushing air filled our heads. for…

good thing kerry kilos is back to restore order to the nefarious defectors. daddy's home, and the house is a mess...

the icy air put a knot in my chest, and made coarse my throat. i took notice of an absence of any breeze at all when steam from my breath just hung around my head like a personal cloud. the ground crunched and cracked with each step into a forest of leafless trees. "how much further?", i called ahead. the man i…

not this cocaine, baby. Haley Joel Osment couldn't sense this coke!

as i stood and watched El Guerro execute the informants with a carelessness for human life that i have never before witnessed, i found my hand - nervously fondling the crucifix pendant on my necklace. my thumb firmly pressing and rubbing the back of the jewelry. quickly and as slyly as i could, i feigned to turn the…

i poured cocaine into my iPhone speakers and asked Siri to party.

i tipped a post-op tranny waitress...folks, i told her to keep the change.

i had to let the bastards think they'd won before gloriously returning Jesus Christ running a second half kickoff back.

my most glorious moment? i argued with and subsequently punched Robin Wilson (the lead singer of the Gin Blossoms) in a Dillard's department store in Topeka, KS when he tried to cop the exact same shit as i was buying.

my most glorious moment? i argued with and subsequently punched Robin Wilson (the lead singer of the Gin Blossoms) in a Dillard's department store in Topeka, KS when he tried to cop the exact same shit as i was buying.

my most glorious moment? i argued with and subsequently punched Robin Wilson (the lead singer of the Gin Blossoms) in a Dillard's department store in Topeka, KS when he tried to cop the exact same shit as i was buying.

my most glorious moment? i argued with and subsequently punched Robin Wilson (the lead singer of the Gin Blossoms) in a Dillard's department store in Topeka, KS when he tried to cop the exact same shit as i was buying.

like future biff with sports almanac in tow...i've come to claim my rightful place as your king.

waive the shit....then shut your mouth, and buy the goddamned car.

i smoothly moved through the vestibule coolly mewling with dueling jewelers soothingly fueling my rejuvenation.

i chugged up in a steam-powered forklift, and told a broad to "get the fuck in." from there, we drove through the park, where i showed her varying combinations of currency denominations displayed artistically among the foliage, before asking her to leave politely.

i pulled up to the intersection in a crucifix set on cruise control next to the spanish inquisition and exceeded expectations with excessive speed.

catch me riding about town in a rhombus of oblong proportion, objectifying women by subjecting them to suggestive hand gestures

my shit is too nice, baby....unfortunately polarization comes with the territory, but which side you take - says a lot about you, Rikki.

the whip had to be blood red, so i opted for the rag top (period)