... according to actual papua new guinea cannibals, people taste like spam

... or Bernie

... uh... bourbon & scotch are both whiskeys... what did she really want? rye, I guess.

my sex injury did not manifest as such until about 20 years after the fact when I went to the chiropractor & he asked me if I had ever been ‘karate chopped’ on the back of the neck... I realized that the time in high school I was too intimidated by dude’s CUP sitting right next to my head to tell him that every thrust…

Played a Shakespeare villain in college because not enough boys auditioned... Much Ado About Nothing... John the Bastard switched to Joan the BITCH! (“I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace!”)