I have some background in Graphology (handwriting analysis). I attempted to analyze the Hernandez letter. First, I'll give a very brief description of Graphology.

It was either ESPN or Fox Sports Type 2.

That's like threatening to fight every heterosexual at a Melissa Etheridge concert.

If you look hard enough, you can also find Bison Dele inside a ray.

That makes two people that wouldn't know a proactive solution if it smacked them in the face.

Peterson: Okay, you see the seams on the ball? If you want to be a good quarterback, you want to line your fingers up with them and throw the ball far while also keeping the ball from getting too wobbly in the air. It's tough since the ball is so big, but a tight spiral is key. Now...

Good thing he didn't hit Pedroia. That bat would've been sanded down to a toothpick.

Similarly, The Great One admitted he couldn't even beat the Maple Leafs in Wayne Gretzky Hockey, but mostly because his daughter insisted on constantly blowing the cartridge.

They're so adorable after they hatch.

If this woman was a potential hurdle to Lolo's success as a bobsledder, I'm sure she hit her.

Go drunk, BTCJ, you're home.

This is going to be great as soon as you line up a few of Deadspin's favorite commenters.

But here's a twist: an affidavit for the search warrant cited cocaine.

And that is the danger of asking Lindsay Lohan to trim her pubic hair.

she asked if they could play for Knicks tickets instead...offered her Nets tickets as a consolation

Here's a gif of all the shots Chris Bosh made in Game 7:

Officer James: [administers breathalyzer] Not 1, not 2, not 3...

Dildo Jesus: I heal thee, my child!

Luckily, this guy was wearing scuba gear and escaped unharmed.