To be fair, Rex Grossman made an attempt.

Didn't Aaron Hernandez learn anything from the 2011 Broncos? If you have a gun, grow a neckbeard and hide behind Tim Tebow.

Let us know when you've found it.

This shouldn't come as a surprise. Tyson couldn't even beat a 2-bit Holyfield.

Pictured: Shane Matthews, hard at work.

It's a good thing police caught him before he left for Parts Unknown, which is out of their jurisdiction.

He had it together enough to not want to kiss that ginger sideline reporter lady.

Looks like Tony Romo isn't the only thing in Cowboys Stadium that hasn't shown any growth and maturity.

It would be interesting to see how the media would handle Oden going to Miami. Would they refer to them as the Big Three plus Huge One?

Jim Ross: "Wait a minute... she reverses the hold... MAH GAWD SHE HAS HIM IN A 5-FIGURE LEG-LOCK!"

LOL I just love Charlie's I <3 angioplasty shirt!

I guess that's one way to make sure they don't forget to give you napkins with your order.

This is his way of reminding his girlfriend that the last time the Cubs won the World Series, surviving members of the Donner Party were actually still alive.

Ignore what the NHL statistics say.

Oh, this totally explains the city's three letter airport code.

And you thought Jeff Dunham's routine stunk.

and imagined MJ's giant penis would "eviscerate me from the inside out"

The Bears offensive line will be donating their time working as bouncers and doormen, so expect it to be packed.

Doink is survived by Doink 2, Doink 3, Doink 4, Doink 5, Doink 6, Doink 7 and Dink.

The Patriots are now considering bringing Hernandez back to fill their third-string QB position because his bullets hit the intended target more often than Tebow's.