I would pour Jim Beam all over Mila Kunis' waxed bare body and lap it up like a kitten slurping up heavy cream. Oh that was an unfortunate image. Now all I can think about is dousing her in Brandy Alexanders. Which is so not Jim beam. But still, naked Mila doused in booze. WINNING!

And this is why his Dad will be the one running for President. Again.

Re-reading this it kinda reads like I am proud of using it against her. No, I feel badly about that even though we were both swinging like Foreman in Manila. I was and am proud of what we did to the floor of the hotel. Doesn't really change my assholishness, though.

I would not be opposed to a handy.

It was...distinct. Plus we saw the other guests. They were not fucking. I hope.


The Ritz? Please. I've farted and taken out a whole floor of the Ritz...and the Four Seasons.

That wasn't the part I meant.

It was a reasonably small hotel. With tiny rooms. And we fucked a LOT! It was pretty all the time naked engaged in some kind of sexual act or eating candy. Naked. And sex. There was that moment when we were all, "Is that...us?"

Ya don't say...

Once upon a time I was staying in a hotel with a lady friend. We were there for the sole purpose of fucking madly. Which we did. It was not a particularly expensive hotel and as such had a shared bath and shower facility. Before going out for food during one of the breaks in the great fuck fest, we showered. Upon…

"Backdoor Man A.J. McLean Wants to Ride Justin Bieber Like a Rented Mule While Doing Vintage Choreography and Screaming 'Nick just cum back, baby!'"

I was allowing for the fact that these are non-pros gathered for fun. Probably much slower game. Then there's the fact that the winner of each hand gets a blowjob. That's gonna add a good minute or two to each hand.

Anybody arguing that $250 is below market value for a blowjob has not paid for a blowjob recently. Not that I have, but I do monitor such things for, ahem, research purposes. $250 in NYC's gonna get you a lot more than a blowjob so down in deliverance country it's going to get ya even more. Does it cover 8-10 guys? No.

This is why the GOP keeps losing elections. Everyone knows that autism is caused by the HPV vaccine. Such Ignorance is just shameful...and hiss damgerous!

One of my dearest friends shared the following tale with me:

Does this mean we get to see your vulvular region?

Upon seeing the Hillary wrecking ball a friend of mine remarked, "Hillary looks so...happy."