"Hey, you drunken whores! Quit getting so drunk that you get yourselves raped! You're ruining the college experience for our sons!"

But the rainbow colors, man...the colors....

Best. Shirt. Ever.

I...yeah.

...and it heals knees that were twisted in the bouncey castle. Or...so I...hear...

Age: 12

I don't like the word stalk. It sounds so stalkerish. I prefer "remain enegaged in activities that might offer you insight as to their state of mind just in case they snap and come after you since they would be categorically unable to do so without first announcing their plans on Facebook and Twitter." See? SO less…