+1 for referencing one of the greatest football movies ever. Long live Mac Davis!!

This will all come to an end when the colostomy bag explodes on a naked bootleg.

Dendrochronologists are still trying to determine an exact age by studying the growth rings of Peyton’s forehead.

Big deal, Barry. It takes twice as many people to undress Eli.

Peter King: * reads excerpt* Yeah, this’ll do. *slips hand down his pants*

“Unintended benefit” and “leukemia” in the same sentence. Probably a first.

Don’t think they won’t hang that banner, cuz they will.

Jim Irsay Secret Thoughts: DO NOT READ

2015 AFC SOUTH PARTICIPANT

They won’t be able to repeat as AFC Finalists if they keep this up.

And to further rankle Pagano, Grigson is doing so with the imprimatur of owner Jim Irsay.

“LOL Jets no longer?”

Good. Brees is a jackbag. Maybe while they’re fixing his shoulder they can pay a rat a nickel to gnaw that thing off his face.

The US cozying up to Assad is pretty much a non-starter.

Brandon Weeden vs. Luke McCown on SNF...Now THAT’S a Game of the Week!

If the 49ers want to stop drunk driving they should allow everyone to sleep in their cars after games. Not just Jim Tomsula.

I walked in on him grunting and breathing heavily through what seemed like a laborious, painful diarrhea session at the stadium once. He looked so vulnerable.