Hey Bobby, where do watermelons go in the summer? Answer: John Cougar’s Meloncamp. Carry on.

Here is your stupid star, you earned it...

I love that its name is comprised of a German word, a made-up word, an English word, and an Italian word. It’s so inclusive!

If I was a dog I’d be wagon my tail

A fake Ferrari? Whatever do you mean?

No, this is too much overhang:

Her opponent later admitted that it was the longest he ever lasted with a girl.

John Daly is Fucked Up Again, Enters Tournament

FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM!

You are completely incorrect. This is the best SC ad ever, and I don’t care if it dates me

that is a retired NHL player crushing the Grammy Award-winning artist Justin Bieber.

Lie detector lady: Now we’re gonna run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I’ll ask you a few yes or no questions, and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?

It’s like a gal I work with that wears a sleeveless wool sweater and bitches about being cold. I asked her is she wore a fur bikini in the summer, and now we no longer speak.

Yes, they had it up until about the late 2000s. But do you really expect a politics site to know that?

This is all the pro Bowl should be. Silly shit like this, fan meet and greets. Maybe some flag football coached by the players with teams of fans. Fun shit and fan outreach.

This sounds like it was a blast.

When I was 18 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect of a 18 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.

I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I…

Well look at the man with the golden fuckin’ sphincter over here guys.

Go to hell.

I generally disagree with Deadspin’s anti-dissent policy, but you need to be banned for this atrocious take.

Here is the church.