I've always wanted Grace Jones' body to live in, but her lifestyle would kill me.

My version of Hell is being forced to work an inner-city McDonalds when I'm past retirement age, but unable to retire.

The ONLY way I'll watch a movie in a theater is an early weekday matinee.

SO? It's not like she spends a lot of effort on this column, she can't spare five minutes to give us a platform for dick jokes?

So, uh, no TI this week?

Naw, just that Julius Schwartz came up with all this in the swingin' 60's.

I don't mind the rings, but today's current fascination with random ball-bearings stuck in the face just reminds me of my own horrible acne problems as a young 'un.

What kind of idiot writes to Savage Love BEFORE seeing a doctor?

Smith already made "an R-rated talking animal movie" — Dr Doolittle. Is this the sequel nobody demanded?

Better than before, but the Swedish Rapper's Delight is the only thing that I couldn't see on 30 Rock or The Office. Where's the exploding heads, the fish-O-rang, the aliens. etc?

1960''s stuff.

I didn't watch this show last season, (Thanks, Netflix!) but it's starting to look better and better. It's learned a lesson— don't spend 60 minutes on something I can read in a comic in 15.

But only because they gave him a character besides "Bad Guy".

In the comics, Zoom IS the Reverse Flash.

THAT lasted two seasons?

And of course, that Evil Urkel dummy from that one ep of Family Matters.

I had such a crush on Timmy when I was eight years old.

Stripping will never go away.

I just wish my daily fishwrap would stop re-re-running For Better For Worse. It was bad enough the first time.

WAAAAALLLLT!