What a load of crap. I'm not some pantywaist who can't make it through the day without my cup of coffee. Those people are sad excuses of human beings. People used to plow fields for 14 hours a day and fetched their own water and didn't whine like wusses because they didn't get their moka java crapa watever.

Nice to know that Jezebel is in the business of spreading fear rather than fact-checking:

I set fire to my genitals every morning at 4am. Works great, and no bitter aftertaste!