The problem is, by saying you only feel sympathy for their children and not for these women stuck doing something they regretted, you're ensuring that women will continue to feel ashamed for having these feelings and they won't speak about this frankly to people close to them or anyone else, and will keep these…

If you didn't want to be mowed down by a drunk driver, why were you crossing the street?

C'mon, ladies, exercise some caution so you don't have to be raped.

And if that fails, you can then resort to a passive aggressive note: "To WHOEVER sexually assaulted me. If I had WANTED to have sex with you, I would have written YOUR name on my vagina. I'm not sure how you were confused about that, but IN THE FUTURE please do not have sex with."

We lock our bikes and label food in the fridge because we don't want them to be stolen.

Hmm, maybe this is why I don't PMS: my bullshit tolerance is already dude-level.

This weekend I watched Lawless. He spends 99% of that movie in a dirty collared shirt and old man cardigan that looks like a Mr. Rogers reject sweater. And I wanted him for every single second that he was on screen.

I went on a bad date with a pothead stranger from the Internet, but he was so hot I took him home with me. He proceeded to completely fail at getting hard, and halfheartedly got me off with his fingers. Then he blamed his impotence on 3 things: 1. pot, 2. all the masturbation he had done that day, and 3. porn. …

I think it's the part where he is holding a gun to its head.

It kind of weirds me out when an employee just appears seemingly out of thin air next to me with that :D look on their face. Some people need to wear a bell.

Haha. Nice.

that cat was as stoic as beyonce in an elevator

Yes - an all this "she got herself pregnant." You know, by herself. With her own semen.

It's amazing that anyone would want to be photographed with Lavigne. Granted, I've never been to Brazil, but I assumed they had a 6 hour time difference. I didn't realize it was 2002 down there.

Seriously, how can I as an American take them seriously when our football players will argue they can play even when their brains are oozing out of their helmet?

As a Christian (although that in no way makes me an expert on anything), I want to state that I feel it is actually very important that the headline and article mentions the school being a Christian school. No, it isn't an unfair attempt to single out Christians as all being hypocritical but it is pointing out this…

Well, I like to joke that my electronics are sentient beings and when my computer broke I told people she was dead, except when I talked to a friend who had lost her father not that long ago. I realized how it would sound and adjusted my language accordingly and it didn't take more than two seconds. I'm sure Rumsfeld…

"Yes, please, let's not forget the poor men, who make up a whopping 15% of the domestic violence victims (nonsarcastic saide: this includes situations in which the violence is mutual, or the woman used violence in response to violence), who are far less likely to be hurt by domestic violence given the differences in…