I had this! Here's a scanned photo I found from when I was a kid in the early 90s re-creating the Battle of Hoth in my front yard with 70s/80s Star Wars toys

For fucketty sakes, there is no goddam strychnine in psilocybin mushrooms. None.

...and no one was fapping, not even your spouse.

OK Adam I watched your uncut video. For what you were doing on the FDR, I would just look to pull your license. For what you did on the West Side Highway, I would look to see you in jail for at least 6 months. There are places all over this video that you are moving over 100MPH, on the upper West Side Highway, well…

Another useful ad-hoc knife honing tool I recently learned is the unglazed bottom of a ceramic bowl or plate.

Someone needs to write a new Christmas song titled "Shit, it's Christmas."

My driver's ed instructor told me it was illegal to drive barefoot.

This is the new-fashioned Battlemodo. We're calling it Gizmodo Bests, and you can expect to see a lot more of them!

Can we blame this on millennials?

Condensed milk is now generally only of interest, today, when you're camping or stocking your shelves for the inevitable nuclear winter to come.

And when you wonder why you don't get more paid vacation days, just think back on all the paid vacations you've already had: daily.

I've been working at a job for 6 weeks where I have far too much extra time on my hands (just not enough work to actually keep me busy). I don't even have to hide that I'm surfing Facebook…

Actually, Brazil's judiciary system and penal procedures are being a bit misrepresented here. Things are way more complex than just "prison terms top out at 30 years". True, 30 years is the maximum time a brazilian citizen can spend in total incarceration, but that only applies to criminals who are considered to be…

I CAN ONLY TYPE SO MUCH ABOUT THESE SCENES WITHOUT BEING OVERCOME BY EMOTIONS DAMMIT.

You don't see any issue with having a cord that can come into contact with a burner? No issue at all?

BUT...

If that doesn't work out, stories about giant salamanders fighting each other are going to be big. Just you wait.

WTF are people talking about all the time on their phones? I see people dropping their kids off at school, already yammering away. Every time my phone actually rings, I want to throw it across the room. Who the fuck talks on the phone anymore?

If thats the camera the game has when you fight, im gonna get dizzy pretty fast. All those zooms and distortions and blurriness really hurt my eyes.

I CANNOT IMAGINE going to a wedding and ending up killing someone (well, I can sort of imagine it as I used to work for a catering company.)