No matter how old he got, the moment he smiled, it’s like all the years melted away. Like this photo was taken a few days before his death. (By Iman, no less.) What a fantastic smile.

I cannot stand it when people don’t recognize that the sidewalk is a public–ie, shared–space. One half should be for going in one direction, the other half for the reverse direction.

You know, it's really hard just being a shark without all these unrealistic expectations weighing down on me because of how sharks are portrayed in the media. Sometimes I can't deal. Hence, why I ate this dick who couldn't watch where he was swimming.

Post-wine texted this to the ex-husband who keeps contacting me

spanked their 14-year-old daughter with a hockey stick and a jump rope

Egg?

Thanks for this, I was really feeling stupid because Barbies absolutely influenced how I feel about myself. I had very specific thoughts about wanting to grow up to have nice boobs like Barbie, and feeling down because Barbie had these long thin legs and I was chubby. It wasn’t like I looked longingly at my dolls,…

A lot of this also can be traced to the values real women had in our lives. I developed an eating disorder in my late teens/early 20s, but I was ALWAYS obsessed with my weight and my looks. I don’t necessarily blame Barbie, but I do blame the constant images coupled with women (mostly my mother) being fixated on…

I have a very distinct memory of being something like five years old, and getting a doll as a gift, and I distinctly remember feeling disappointed that the doll didn’t have blond hair. At five years old, I’d already internalized that long, silky, blond hair was the ideal. Nobody ever explicitly told me that blond hair…

i just can’t figure out who the girl standing next to her in that photo is. Is that Kylie? Did she get more work done? I DON’T UNDERSTAND

Sure, although to be frank, I find the best bios to be written just by taking an animal actor’s Wikipedia page and replacing their name with yours. I used Keiko the whale once as my bio in a play program. It said I was born at 2000 pounds and a foundation was created to free me : )

This Rob and Blac Chyna thing is legitimately the first time I’ve been truly interested in this family. Rob may be the most interesting of them all.

you know what I got when I had that impulse six years ago? A hedgehog. and then I named her Zeus. quirky status established, without participating in the exotic animal trade or having to buy a freaking kinkajou

He pulled a Leslie Knope.

Does Ray J own Kanye’s kids? Per Kanye logic he does.

It’s pretty fucking rich that people are cool with consuming and confronting slavery in the form of entertainment while gasping at the horror of it all, but refuse to budge when it comes to things like criminal justice reform, income inequality, etc., and acknowledging the lingering effects of a country built on the…

Annie’s Boobs!

for some reason this reminds me of that part in Harry Potter when all the spiders leave Hogwarts and swarm into the woods so what I’m saying is these people probably have a massive iSpider in their basement and should probably contact Steve Jobs for help via seance.