Totally untrue!!! I used to be a six in the brand but now I’m an eight... Oh wait that’s probably from my diet of queso and wine... Never mind....

So perfect that one has Spitzer as a last name

I had a raging hangover and was on about two hours of sleep when I got on a 5 hour flight. About an hour in I needed to puke really badly, but the man blocking my exit was asleep and I didn’t want to wake him up. He was also a marine in uniform. I closed my mouth hoping it would just stay in there, but instead it came…

is it just me or does that one guy look like Cody from sister wives?

I typically don't like sports themed weddings, but I will admit that mine is coming up soon in New Orleans and we are definitely doing a Saints second line umbrella for me and a Patriots one for him... Guess I'm a hypocrite...

I think the issue here is new girlfriends. I.e. Dad cheated on mom and left her two months ago for new girlfriend.

actually crying now... Such an awesome story

I'm in the grays so this will probably never be seen, but we were quite drunk, and I suggested we leave the bar and go to McDonald's. I proceeded to order, not kidding, seven value meals all with fries and then a 20 count nuggets... I then asked him if he wanted anything. The food comes, and the bags break under the…

like this both because I feel like a kindred spirit, and because your name is amazing

How can you leave Olivia Pope out of the strong willed women list???

read this as Satan floral dress at first... Also works.

isn't she allegedly 94 now? Very impressive!

She literally just killed her speech... Goosebumps.

something something terrible joke about chronicles or Narnia something something

Lena Dunham, there is nothing French about walking around in pedicure flip flops.

That pizza hut/TMNT reference just killed it.

Works for us in New Orleans...