"Low mileage" means about as much as "lady driven". Show me the maintenance records. That's what I want to see. Show me that this low-mileage car was taken care of as well as this high-mileage survivor was. A certain relative of mine, a baby boomer, steers away from anything with more than 100,000km on it. "Low…

One time, the one on the right on my '89 Caprice wagon burned out and I hit some ice weasels. True story.

A bit of a Cold War musical flashback for those who, like me, were teenagers when the last round of this sabre-rattling nonsense was going on.

Can I star this eighty-six times over? Sometimes I feel like some kind of 80's Veteran... "You weren't there! You don't know!"

A Tercel. Is a bird. Bitch.

I want a horse that has the Force.

The best cheap car I ever had was my mom's 1982 Toyota Tercel 2-door notchback. It was fun to drive, was cheap on gas, and the front wheel drive got us through Saskatchewan winters with no trouble. But I'm pretty sure it was made out of a Pepsi can and a pizza box. If we'd ever been in a serious accident, we'd have…

Yeah, I'm about a 40 hour drive from where you are. So, for all intents and purposes, Siberia.

Six Miatas in one day? Where do you live, California?

I get a kick out of articles like this one, where the Jalop community judges old cars (Prius aside) by modern standards and where everyone chimes in with "I drove one of these once and I hated it so I can definitively state that they all sucked." No one seems to put these cars in the context of the time they were…

*Tatooine. Naboo has one sun. /races off in T-16

I don't know what to believe in, anymore...

"JETZON REVENGER 60" ... So awesome.

Why is Mike from Breaking Bad driving that Mustang...? Didn't Walt kill him?

Black cars look better in the shade. Gino said it, so it must be true.

I've had nightmares like this.

Canadian Tire has a bad reputation for this kind of thing. I won't take any vehicle of mine to them and I advise all of my friends to avoid CanTire as well.

I have a question. How much of the original car has to be there for it to be a restoration? Is the car really "restored" with replacement body panels? I'm not questioning the awesomeness that is this car (or the awesomeness that is this story) — I'm only wondering what the definition is.

Where do Canadians call Tim Horton's "Horton's"? All my fellow Canadians call it "Tim's" or "Timmy's". We're on a first-name basis with our double-doubles.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you for saying this. I miss the old Jalopnik, too. Even the Jalopnik of just two or three years ago. Pretentiously superior judgemental douchebaggery has become rampant here and has sucked the fun out of this place.