Honest question, isn’t this an expression of gender in itself:

This is why reporters die alcoholics.

The Oregon Trail was just a massive stripmall of Massage Envy and Chipotle stores.

“But what about all the faces the Leopards didn’t eat!”

A source of dysentery??

I think people need to prepare themselves for Roy Moore winning. As much as I hate it the odds are in his favor. Because we are living in the darkest timeline it seems.

Ah, hello. Well first of all I’d like to apologize for the behaviour of certain of my colleagues you may have seen earlier, but they are from broken homes, circus families and so on and they are in no way representative of the new modern improved British Navy.

On the other hand I’ve never accused Roy Moore of roasting and eating babies either.
“There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount.”

“But Your Honor, think of all the banks I DIDNT rob. Why are we focusing on those ten that I did?”

Are we really sure Jeffery Dahmer ate those people? I wasn’t eaten. What about the millions of Americans who are alive today without even a hint of a bite mark on them? Think about it.

People are so weird. Though I’m glad Judy was mostly unscathed by the incident.

I have the cutest foster dog right now (Ms. Judy Boots, Professional Busybody - named by SNS!). She’s a 7lb terrier mix who I am not kidding is movie star dog adorable. Kept outside alone for her first year, she’s very nervous in crowds and new activities, which we’re working on (she’s improved greatly). I was walking…

Does anyone think Trump has ever been to the wilderness and wondered at the beauty of nature? If he’s ever outside the city, he’s somewhere which is, or will shortly be ruined to become, a golf course.

It’s weird to think how insane the phrase ‘President Trump tweets support to pedophile cowboy’ would have sounded not so long ago. How far we’ve come...

The culmination of 50+ years of racism and failed economic policies, and the GOP can be easily summed up as: boastful rapist endorses credibly-accused child molester.

It’s a fucking disgrace, a disaster and a nightmare for the tens of thousands of Americans who will not be able to see their loved ones, and the hundreds of thousands of awaiting immigrants who are now being discriminated against while the Supreme Court dithers and awaits a hearing on this.

People who voted 3rd party or didn’t vote shouldn’t feel bad about this. After all, the same thing would have happened if Hillary won. I mean there was basically no difference between her and Trump, right?

Man, I hope Moore loses. Not just because he’s an awful person who should be in prison, but now that Trump has endorsed him, a loss would be a huge blow to Trump. So far every person he’s endorsed has lost, and he immediately tries to backpedal his endorsement by deleting his tweets endorsing them or making excuses in…

Let’s hope this endorsement works as well as the last one: