Well as president of the itty bitty titty committee, I also have questions for You People.

I mean... come the fuck on

German is bound to have such a word.

I too have a full head worth of hair, but unfortunately it’s all located on my back.

How would a clause prohibiting someone from “dating publicly” be legal or enforceable? That seems like the kind of thing that would be laughed out of court if he tried to press the issue should she be in “breech of contract.”

I like that they had LeFou display some conscience.

Wow, I actually felt my vagina slam shut and try to permanently seal itself off

He played a candlestick and they don’t have hair so I guess he had to get into character

This is my second-favorite annual Deadspin feature. (The first? “What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?”)

“On the machine, Rose. On the machine.”

God, can we just all take a moment to appreciate what a glorious movie Soapdish is?

It has arguably one of the greatest casts ever assembled, happily vamping it up for the better part of two hours.

Except the joke was about Latino people being racist. He’s making fun of his own ethnic group.

They are not safer than trampolines. While your chance of breaking a bone may be slightly higher on a trampoline, there have only been 6 trampoline-related deaths since 1990. There are hundreds of atv deaths every single year. It’s not even remotely comparable.

I smoke weed everyday and am probably an alcoholic, but I am well-informed about politics and celebrity gossip. The point is, we’re all going to die in a mushroom cloud.

Sounds like the distraction we all need.

BUT HER EMAILS! Right Bernie Bros and Stein-heads. You can all go burn in hell for the part you played in making this nightmare a reality, fuck all of you.

fart every time you leave your desk.

Yaaaasss. She glows in metallics!: