Right?!

The prettiest is piles of money and attractive genetic parents.

There was this article on Salon written by a woman about how her acne made her do heroin. Heroin. Fucking heroin.

Eric is the prettiest for sure. Nom nom nom

Are you kidding? I could actually wear heels around a guy who was 6’5”.

That’s water with lemon and pretensions.

Miley child, good on you if you’re using your exes as fleshy dildos.

No shit? That’s cool. I just consider it self medicating because my parents were too lazy to get me diagnosed with adhd. Or to bother stopping a 6 year old from drinking coffee.

Everyone told me coffee would stunt my growth as a child. I grew to be about 6 feet tall. Everyone lied.

That’s only cos a 70s GM car is made of several tons of steel.

Ugh. The hippie crack version of vodka bottle hoarders.

I doubt it. Nitrous oxide is used as a propellant for whipped cream and race cars. I dont think for canned air.

As a chef I bet he at least eats pussy. As a raging psychopath it was probably also energetic.

Yes. Yes I would. With a second one that says “mama’s boy.”

I want an I Thee Dread post about hilarious ways people got revenge on shitty exes. Tell me about your plane hiring, exciting divorce parties and glitter bombings people!

Is your exes mom from a culture with a large number of overbearing mothers who worship their sons by any chance?

You certainly aren’t dumb here. You were being condescended to by a prick who is antiquated in his practice and bedside manner.

I offered my doctor 500 cash for 5mg of versed and 100mcg fentanyl when I need a new IUD put in. Let’s call that a joke shall we?

You can even order them online in discrete packaging now. Another option could be the industrial strength pads they give you after giving birth. Those things are like kitchen sponges.

Real talk: it’s 2015 but well over3/4 of American nurses are women. For some stupid reason, possibly involving Florence Nightingale, American hospitals usually make us wear white scrubs.