Go back to sleep, mom.

For reelz?

I just called my wife and told her to go to Costco to stock up on those microwave rice bowls that I like. And batteries. Make haste, woman!

Porn in the shower.

It was.

That Karma needs obstacle avoidance. That thug got boned!

Or, capture your face in a crisp 7MP as your first tear emerges...

So powerful it blew the hair clear off his head!

I can add random people on Snapchat, as long as I know their usernames, and watch their stories without them adding me as their friend.

I feel like WatchOS 3 made my original Apple Watch a lot jankier. Siri understands way less when I tell it to set an alarm, timer, reminder, etc - it’s always, “I’ll tap you when I’m ready” and it never does. It never does... I actually liked the glances, especially the audio controller. I’d use it for controlling…

+1 Touch my Enis

I forgot that we used to have to pay for those!

Just beat off in the corner and let them duke it out.

That gif sums up my entire high school career with girls.

Welp. No more eggs for me!

No headphone port?!