How many people do you think you’ve seen in your life? Like, in person, with your own eyes? I imagine I’ve probably seen 5 million or so. Sporting events are a big part of that, but so is traveling.

Nebraska winning the 1994 national championship. My former farmboy dad was very excited. I remember vividly a voicemail (just called a message at the time) he left on one of my uncle’s answering machine: “Hey who are the national champions?!? That’s right!! The Nebraska Cornhuskers BAY-BEE!!”

Probably deservedly so, though! The woman in this story assaulted poor Dan Skuta first by friend-zoning him (emotional assault imo), so he was acting more out of self-defense than anything.

Wait, he’s a jock Chad, not a nice guy!

Seriously, and don’t even get me started on red privilege!

Omar Mateen’s once-promising college football career.

Terrance from Mississippi and I live very different lives.

Who the hell would blow into an N64 cartridge? I have only heard of that/done it myself to NES games. N64 cartridges worked every time.

I got one of these for my 8th birthday and on the 2nd throw it went down into the sewer, never to be seen again.

I send a dick pic to my girlfriend once every couple months. We’re in a long distance relationship and have been for ~3 years. She says she enjoys them, but maybe she’s just being polite. I don’t necessarily love sending them either, so maybe we’re stuck in some sort of postmodern comedy of manners.

Umm, spoiler alert?

I’m a nearly 30 year-old grad student. If I had any decency, I’d have a kid and a law degree by now.

I just want to point out that there is actually no proof of the teen driver using Snapchat during the crash, and the only “evidence” suggesting it is the snap she took it the ambulance.

I guess I just don’t really have anything worth blackmailing me for :(

Who is this article for- the pro-athlete-reading-Deadspin demo?

Gunnin’ for that Chunky Soup endorsement.

Guys, language has always been and alway will be evolving.

In all Honor Code proceedings, the university strives for fairness, sensitivity and compassion

Have you ever fished... on weed?

You’re welcome! I’m kinda new to this calling people names on the internet thing. I was a bit hesitant at first, because you know, judging you based on a single paragraph. But I thought, what the heck, why not? It seems like my comment was relatively well-received, and you sure were a good sport about it!