Anything that turd wants is bound to be 100.0% horrible.

Not mentioned: Lynn plunked Little (with a fresh ball) on the next pitch.

Really? I think getting all the audio will only show how stupid, passive-aggressive, and petty most players, managers, and umpires are.

Unclean balls have put the brakes on many a fast and fun evening.

Pitcher: “Your frequent replacement of perfectly fine baseballs is excessive.”

Umpire: “What? Why wouldn’t the Freemasons find Spaceballs impressive?”

[...mutual confused silence...]

Pitcher, Umpire, Batter, and Catcher together: “Bill Pullman sucks.”

I love these interactions

joe west, who’s name doesn’t warrant capitalization, sucks forever ass.

“I was told that was what Joe West wanted...”

We hate your neighborhood, too

I have the “Wear a helmet” battle with my 12 year old daily, simply because of the sheer number of dipshit parents in my town who allow their kids to ride their bikes up and down main roads without them. Now it’s if course become a “Cool kids don’t wear helmets” thing, and I have to fight with my son so he doesn’t…

I do a lot of paved trail biking with my kids and I almost never see an electric skate boarders with a helmet. They’re usually wearing a back pack too, which will make that face plant even worse. Although before being a parent I too was an invincible bike/skateboard rider... Make helmets cool again. 

And be sure to actually strap them on properly! An unstrapped helmet is just an ugly hat

Shame to hear of his passing.

FBI: we need a name for our new witness protection client, what you got

“The Texans went __-__ before crapping out in the Wild Card game in embarrassing fashion last season” is an inevitable truth right up there alongside “death” and “taxes.”

Note to self: after you hit your 100 game parlay, buy the Colts, in the cover of night move them to Mexico where they belong, and erect a wall outside the stadium to keep Mike Pence out, DO NOT allow GM to trade multiple future first round picks for middling talent. 

He’s the slightly better Jeff Fisher. He’s the annual  10-6 guy (in part to a diarrhea of a division) whose teams scare no one in January.

The Texans are also paying near half of Clowney's tag for him to play in Seattle. Even if you wanted to argue that the moves themselves make sense, the way they were done is a total clownshow.

I absolutely HATE the new pop-up ads! So sad that the Deadspin we all know and love is being slowly killed up upper management.