Yes, but it’s not a mole it’s a tick.

“Illegal neighbors yard” was the phrase you were looking for. (Doesn’t matter if they’re actually illegal, immigrated legally, was born here, or is just super tan.)

I always thought I wanted a career, turns out I’m quite satisfied with just a paycheck. I like my job, I genuinely do enjoy what I do more days than not. There’s no problem with not living to work.  

Dear Jane,

Sure, we can watch Lost Boys and drink Zima and eat 3D doritos and dunkaroos in a cave.

Dude you should go into television. I would watch that show. It’s like those shows from the early oughts where they would take “a 21st century family and send them back in time!” But terrifying.  

I have never seen La La Land, there I said it.

So like when God and Lucifer made a five dollar bet on Job and tortured his ass for, well let’s admit it, was really just a celestial pissing contest?

Well the Russians haven’t hacked the firewall to control the left side of her body yet. Give it time, they’ll get it.

So he’s always looked like an elderly turtle fucked a sock puppet?

Death has a face.

Will it make my radio work better? For that price I should be able to get stations from Bakersfield.

Dammit I do want one of those! So useful.

No we have always been at war with Eastasia.

You too, Doc, you’re Billy the Kid too. You all are, dirty little Billy bastards and I don’t owe you a dime.

Every famly has that movie that they watch over and over for my family that movie has always been Young Guns (1&2) and we quote it to each other pretty regularly. That being said even as a small child it was always weird for me to see Charlie playing the character who had his act together.

Well, we’ll always have Platoon.

I really don’t want to know what perverse thought went into “deciphering” that code. I’m pretty sure if you did know it would make you throw up and want to punch a Chester in the dick.

You have to do air quotes when you “order”

Well at least he didn’t say it was all a preformance art.