If you are prepared to abandon all dignity, the Dodge Caliber can tow 2,000lbs with the 2.4L and the automatic transmission.

Winner. No other option.

you’ll have cash left over for a new duc too

At first I was like MODEL X ALL THE THINGS! But then I saw the production version.

How many Teddy Grahams can the ECU hold?

After they got about 30ft away the dental floss connecting their cups broke and communication was lost. They’re all just chillin submerged 30ft from dock trying to send carrier pigeons but they keep drowning. Fuckin pigeons.

If you want me to click on anything, it needs one of two things:
1. Swedish Chef
2. Jeff Goldblum

Let’s be honest, I’m only here for this beautiful graphic.

I wonder if they would make good Uber cars.

Want.

While definitely in “too soon” territory, I was both afraid someone would make this joke, and afraid someone wouldn’t.

His Batmobile broke down with engine trouble, and when he got out to inspect the car, it was struck by a Toyota Camry, and then his own car hit him.

Nice Morgan! How did you get the dolphins? Must have been a difficult chase!

-16 years on a bike

I am a biker. I hate loud pipes. My bike had an aftermarket Two Brothers slip on when I bought it, and I swapped it out for stock because I was tired of riding around feeling like I had an embarrassing social disease.

Glen’s bike is a whole different kettle of fish than the turd salad in the first picture.

I dunno - I think that Goldwings are amazing technology showpieces. Sure, they’re stupid if you’re a canyon-carving sport bike lover...but for heavy touring, nothing beats it. Some of the trim does look excessive (like the LED strip lights), but every vehicle has lame accessories available.

No dude that’s so you can always give a bitch a ride. It’s a sign of availability, shows that a buck is ready to mate.

Unless you’re drag racing (like on a track), congrats, you’ve made your sport bike handle worse than a Harley.

Gotta go with the Harley straight pipes.