I haven’t bought Papa John’s since he threatened to layoff or reduce the hours of his employees over Obamacare. It was estimated that he could raise the cost of his products by ten cents to cover the costs but he would rather fire people or move them to part-time instead of provide health care to his employees. Fuck…

And Cam Newton. After this past super bowl when he lost, I heard people literally saying that the “good guy won.” Last season, white people especially were writing letters to the team management about how they didn’t like his “flamboyant” nature. And yet, he still did “we’re all the same color”. Dude, these people do…

During the national anthem I was lying naked on my couch trying to eat corn chips off my chest without using my hands. I hope I didn’t offend anybody.

As an XXXL U.S. citizen, I find this comment entirely reasonable and accurate.

#fatlivesmatter

Conservatives: “This country is so PC no one can speak their mind!”

His appeal to African-American voters in recent weeks: THINGS ARE TERRIBLE! IF YOU WALK DOWN ANY STREET YOU’LL GET SHOT 25 TIMES! VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE IT CAN’T POSSIBLY GET WORSE!

You missed off the Clinton calling black kids super predators bit.

If you are more upset at Kaepernick protesting police brutality than you were at the police committing it, yeah, you're part of the problem.

Conservatives on big government: “I made this money with my own hard work, I didn’t need the government’s help.”

Not surprising that the most important interview to ever air on Colin Cowherd’s show happened on his day off.

Smack my bitch up is not a bad song. It is a good song.

Zachary D. Manprin: Cardinal Fan or Schiano Man?

When I ask the brothers what they would collect if they were as wealthy as the Cowboys’ owner, they respond at the same time and without skipping a beat: “People.”

This is an excellent way to unite the party, by relentlessley making fun of Bernie’s supporters, calling them “Bernie Bros”, children, spoiled, racist and by cherry picking one or two hold-outs and acting as if that’s all his supporters, despite poll after poll showing Hillary pulling in 90% of us, far more than the Hi…

Yeah? Then why am I masturbating and trying to get the layering right in photoshop, smartass?

I really don’t know how to deal with people for whom the “I’m going to watch incredible athletes do incredible things” part of pro sports takes a clear backseat to the “I see sports as a venue for the performance of moral [and masculine] virtue as I choose to define it” part of pro sports.

That’s not even the good one, his super kick on Russ Jannetty is the true champion.

I scream