Rock over London! Rock on Chicago!

We all know Wesley Willis could beat them both up anyway.

Tommy hates being fussed over. In fairness, he hates practically everything, making him just about the most trollable man alive, but I’ll respect his preferences this once and tell a happier story instead. On Friday night, we had a party to celebrate moving to a new office next week. Tommy had boarded a plane to the…

This is true.

One morning, shortly after I had been hired full time, one of our editorial fellows, Dan, sent an email to Tommy and me, explaining that he would be a little bate late getting into work because he’d been mugged the night before, and was still sort of getting himself together. Tommy emailed him back, telling him to…

Tommy Craggs gave me a second chance. I spent nearly three years writing for a different Gawker site, and I hit a point where I was just done. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was looking elsewhere, and my time at the company was up. I didn’t want to leave though, and in a passing conversation, I told Tommy I felt…

God, right? I don’t watch MMA or boxing, but I’d gladly spend the money for Pay-Per-View for that fight.

When I hear someone say a woman is built “like a man”, I always think it’s code for “angry that a chick has muscles and has 10x the fitness I do.” And according to his Twitter feed, he's spent the last two hours trying to fend off the bombardment of people killing him on his account, so thats a bonus.

Greatness. Pure greatness. She inspires me and countless other little black girls to not be ashamed of our bodies, our strength, our hair, just fucking everything. The Williams sisters are by far my favorite athletes and are some of the best in their sport. People will talk shit, some deserved, but she is the best.…

Serena is the most dominant athlete in sports. It’s not even close.

ESPN loves Jason Whitlock because he makes Stephen A. Smith look like Bryant Gumbel.

I’m not a fan of his videos, but I’ve never understood the outright malicious contempt people have for him. The guy found huge success doing something he, and all of us, love. Enough people are willing to watch him do his thing to afford him a more than comfortable lifestyle. How can you do anything but respect that?

I’m all for letting people skip combat.

Always happiness truthers.

No snark here. That was super cute in every way. Especially the dad being just as geeked as they are.

The customers aren’t about to stop watching the World Cup.

We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell ‘em stories that don’t go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my…

Oh man, my coffee shop job had promised me health insurance and kept just magically not giving it to me (this was before Obamacare so I was on my own). I called in sick one day but got my shift covered (I thought he’d want to know the other guy was coming in for me!), and my dickbag boss told me I needed to bring in a…

This is exactly how I feel this morning and I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.